So we are doing a WLC (“Weight Loss Challenge”). And it is hell. But then any competition with the three of us where there is a cash prize is gonna be hell. 😐
We’ve done a weight loss challenge before. Last time, the challenge went for three months and I lost 9 pounds and won the jackpot! Of course. I’m excited to take all their money again. 🙂
So here’s how it works- we each have to pay 100 dollars into the pot. And then we each have to workout a minimum of four times a week. For every week that you don’t meet this minimum of four work outs, you have to pay a five dollar fine into the pot.
At the end of six months, the person who has lost the most weight takes everything in the pot (the 300 dollars we all paid in plus the fines paid in for failing to meet the weekly workout minimums.) That’s it!
And here are the Official WLC Rules.
• It is imperative that Participants familiarize themselves with these Rules. ESPECIALLY THE FOOTNOTES. Ignorantia juris non excusat (Ignorance is no excuse in the eyes of the law). (Footnote 1)
• The WLC is an honor and integrity based contest aimed at promoting weight loss with a very attractive Cash Prize award to the Challenge Winner. (Footnote 2)
• Challenge Participants (Footnote 3) must attend at the gym, attend an exercise class or workout in the comfort of their own homes at least four times a week. (Footnote 4)
• For purposes of The WLC, the Workout Week begins on Sundays. (Footnote 5)
• Each workout session must last for a period of at least 30 minutes. (Footnote 6)
• The Fitness Term will commence on February 1, 2012 and end on August 1, 2012.
• Challenge Participants will each pay a 100 dollar (Footnote 7) Entry Fee into The Jackpot. (Footnote 8)
• The Entry Fee is due no later than Sunday, January 29, 2012 at 11:59 p.m. (Footnote 9)
• Participants will be required to pay an additional 5 dollar ‘Slacker Fine’ into The Jackpot for failure to satisfy the four-workout-sessions-per-week requirement. (Footnote 10)
• The Slacker Fine for a given week is due and payable on the following Wednesday at 11:59 p.m
• The winner of the challenge will be determined by the Weight Loss Panel based on:
(i) Amount of weight loss from beginning of the Fitness Term to the End of the Fitness Term;
(ii) Frequency of weekly workout session delinquencies; and
(iii) Honesty and trustworthiness of the Participant.
• At the end of the Fitness Term, the challenge winner will receive all the money in The Jackpot. (Footnote 11)
GET FIT… OR GET LEFT BEHIND!!!
1. Lambert v. California, 355 U.S. 225 (1957). (A footnote on footnotes. Cute! 🙂 )
2. The WLC Enforcement Panel is well aware that given the questionable character of some of the Challenge Participants, the likelihood of maintaining honor and integrity where a cash prize is on the line is almost nil. As such, the Panel would like to remind Challenge Participants that strict measures will be taken to ensure compliance and breach of honor will result in grave penalty including but not limited to automatic disqualification.
3. Participants include: Mak “Danish Butter Cookies” Akan, Bassey “Tantalizers Jollof and Chicken” Akan and Koko “Garri and Afang” Akan.
4. WLC will not be responsible to pay gym membership fees for participants. WLC will not be responsible to pay exercise class fees for participants. WLC will not be responsible for the purchase of exercise equipment for participants. Further, WLC will not be responsible for the provision of child care to Participants to enable them complete their Workout obligations
5. The days of the week are Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. The Panel will not tolerate members trying to add more days to the week or rearrange the days of the week to evade payment of fines for Weekly Workout Session Delinquencies.
6. Running after your children, Climbing stairs when NEPA takes light and Cleaning snow from your car and driveway will not be deemed a Workout Session for the purposes of the WLC.
7. All monies due and payable in Canadian Dollars. Not Zimbabwean Dollars. Not St. Lucian Dollars. Not United States Dollars. WLC will only take cash payments. Valid legal tender only. IOUs, cheques, food stamps, coupons, Canadian Tire money, Monopoly money, Air Miles Rewards, PetroCanada points etc WILL NOT be accepted.
8. WLC is NOT responsible if Challenge Participant does not have money to pay.
9. We repeat, the WLC is NOT responsible if Challenge Participant does not have money to pay. Sell your belongings.
10. Act of God, Inclement Weather, Illness, Snow Day, “NEPA took light”, Fuel Scarcity, “My car won’t start”, Subsidy Removal etc DO NOT negate obligation to satisfy requirement of four workout sessions per week.
11. Challenge Winner will take everybody out to lunch so we can celebrate with you and we can all enjoy at least some of the money. No restrictions on caloric intake during the WLC lunch.